Do Wedding Planners Actually Plan? Clearing Up the Misconceptions
Recently, in a public forum, a bride shared her frustration: she had hired a wedding planner but still felt like she was doing everything herself. Her comment sparked a bigger debate—do wedding planners actually plan, or is the whole industry a scam?
Let’s clear that up right away: the wedding industry is not a scam. But like every industry, it has its share of bad actors and misaligned expectations. As a professional wedding planner, I want to unpack this concern and offer a clearer picture of what a good planner does—and why your experience depends so much on hiring the right one.
Expectation vs. Reality
The bride’s main complaint? She felt like she was managing the entire project herself. That’s a legitimate concern—and sadly, not all planners provide the level of service couples think they’re paying for. Some only offer coordination-level support, while others (like me) provide true start-to-finish project management.
For example, I saw a post on Threads where a beauty professional suggested that wedding planners should start their day when hair and makeup begins—because if that part of the day runs behind, the entire timeline suffers. Surprisingly, a lot of planners pushed back.
I didn’t comment, but I wholeheartedly agreed with her.
That’s why I’ve built it into my services: either I or a team member is present when glam begins. Not just to “be helpful,” but because experience has shown that a smooth start sets the tone for the whole day. Planners who roll in an hour or two before the ceremony? Honestly, that’s a red flag. I don’t operate like that. I’m there for as long as it takes to ensure every detail is executed exactly as planned.
What’s the point of spending months planning if you’re going to leave the execution up to chance? No thank you. If that means a wedding day is 18+ hours, so be it—it’s one day, and we only get one shot to get it right.
Now, back to the real issue at hand...
Wedding Planning Is Project Management
The original poster said she works in software development and expected her planner to treat the wedding like a project—with deadlines, check-ins, and structure. She’s not wrong.
A great wedding planner is a project manager. We track timelines, coordinate moving pieces, and keep everything on schedule. But here’s the twist: unlike corporate projects, weddings are emotional. You’re not just managing vendors—you’re managing families, traditions, and very real feelings.
That blend of logistics and emotion is what separates a surface-level planner from a truly strategic one.
Was It the Right Package?
What that bride likely needed wasn’t just a planner—it was the right type of planning service. Here’s the breakdown:
Full-Service Planning: Strategic and hands-on from day one—vendor sourcing, design, timelines, budget, execution.
Partial Planning: Some support along the way, but the couple manages a lot on their own.
Wedding Management (Coordination): A service that typically begins 6–8 weeks before the wedding to tie up loose ends and run the day-of logistics.
If you think you're hiring someone to handle everything, but you’ve only booked wedding management, you're going to be disappointed.
How to Avoid This Situation
Ask your planner these questions before booking:
What’s included in your package?
Will you create a timeline with priorities and deadlines?
How often will we meet?
Will you handle vendor communication?
What time will you start and end services on the wedding day?
Also, ask how much actual time they'll spend on your event. Some planners only offer one final meeting 30 days before the wedding—that’s not enough if you’re looking for ongoing support.
Final Thoughts: Wedding Planners Are Worth It—If You Hire the Right One
This bride’s frustration is valid. But that doesn’t mean the wedding planning industry is a scam. It likely means there was a mismatch in expectations and services.
Here’s the truth: a great planner is more than a vendor referral machine. We are:
Strategic
Proactive
Communicative
And fully invested in your experience
If you’re feeling like you’re doing it all yourself, it might be time to reevaluate what services you truly need—or who you’ve hired.
Planning your wedding should feel supported and structured, not stressful. The key? Clarity up front.